Everyone but me
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: Someone has decided to disect the Winx and Co. Guess who it is


**Everyone But Me**

**Dedication: This story is dedicated to everyone who risked their sanity to read my stories. Thank you.**

**Summary: Someone is making some unique observations about the Winx Club characters.**

**Disclaimer: I buried myself for a hundred years to get away from you! Can't you take a hint?**

I have come to the conclusion that in order to be a student in Magix you either one, need to have some serious mental issues or two have severe problems that can only be helped by being heavily medicated. Now, I'm not just saying this about the Winx Club girls either. No, I'm extending the love to the boys of Red Fountain and the Trix Sisters as well. It seems that everyone these girls come in contact with is a nut case in one way or another.

The first offender is Bloom, princess of Sparx and keeper of the Dragon flame. In addition to being the sole owner of a very powerful magic- it was sought after by a trio of witches who wanted to take over the realm of Magix- she's also a bit of a freak. I mean her closest friend is a rabbit. Most people get out and try to make some _human_ friends in the first sixteen years of their life, but not Bloom. Her sole companion was a rabbit. Not only that, but her parents pretty much lied to her about how she was found. Her entire life up until she got to Magix was a lie.

Another piece of information that convinces me that Bloom would be better off locked up away from people is the fact that her boyfriend lied to her about who he was. Not only that, but he was _engaged_. Now, just sit and ponder how you'd feel if the person you cared about not only lied to your about his identity but left out that very important piece of information.

This moves me to that wonderful boy who brought the third paragraph about, Sky prince of Eraklion. Not only did this prince not-so-charming lie to his girlfriend about who he was, he conveniently forgot to mention that he had a fiancée. I don't know about you, but I think that's a very important piece of information and shouldn't be left out of a conversation with someone you may want to start a relationship with.

Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough, Sky decided to bring his friend Brandon into the whole deception. He even got the poor squire to switch places with him nice guy huh? So nice he ended up hurting two girls and his 'closest' friend. Plus, he's not the brightest crayon in the crayon box, the guy spazzed when he saw pixies flying towards him, yet he claims to be a hero in training.

But what about Brandon? Sure, he got Stella back in the end, but look at what he went through. His friend pulled rank in order to switch places before school started , then he was embarrassed when the truth came out in front of all the school. Talk about betrayal- it's almost as bad as what Sky did to Bloom. Yet Brandon still considers Sky his best friend- this boy is either incredibly forgiving or incredibly dense. (Personally I go with the former)

Stella isn't that much better. The princess of Solaria is a bit of a ditz and I don't make that point lightly. I mean, hello, she blew up a potions lab? Also, she's a bit too lusty for me. She calls Brandon all these pet names in front of everyone and is all over him like white on rice. I guess she forgot that their whole relationship is based on a lie forged by him and his best friend. Now, I realize Brandon is cute and everything, but I know I wouldn't allow him to be forgiven as soon as she did. He not only hurt her, but her friend Bloom. Come on girl! Make him allow you to kick him in the jewels a few times before you take him back for Christ sake! And that goes double for his friend.

Moving along, how about Flora? And you thought that Bloom was bad? At least Bloom talks to something that moves, Flora talks to plants. Not only that, but she gets her plants to attack people- such as her roommate Tecna (I'll get to her in a few)- and eat homework. Not someone I'd want as my roommate, but it's not like anyone has a choice in that matter.

Not only that, but she was left boy friendless for an entire school year. Even Musa had a guy (Okay, so Musa didn't have a guy as much as she had a second asshole, but I'll get to those two next) but she's been rumored to be going out with Sky (the real Sky, not Brandon as Sky) and Riven. Now Sky I guess I can understand, but Riven? I think she'd be better off with Lord Darkar- or one of her plants. Sure now she has Helia, but how stable is he?

Oh Helia, where do I begin? Well, for one he's a fruit- or at least I perceive him to be a fruit. He's always sitting around writing poetry like he's Shakespeare or something. And he doesn't even use a laptop or a notebook computer. He uses a pen and paper and shuns technology. Confidentially I think it's because he's a technophobe, but that's just me.

Plus, Helia is always claiming he's a pacifist. Who does he think he is Relena Peacecraft? And if that is really the case, then why did he attack that monster? To save Flora, or to release some pent up anger? Right, my point exactly.

Riven is quite possibly the saddest person I've ever met. There is no mention of his father, and his mother abandoned him when he was small. This helped to found his extreme distrust of women from fifteen to who knows how old, but it didn't stop him from being controlled. Exhibit A Day of the Rose his Sophomore year. Riven is brainwashed by one Darcy Trix (who I'll get to later ) and forced to do her bidding. And while it's never been hinted at- I'm guessing Mr. Attitude Problem lost his V card in the process. Although all parties deny this.

Also, Riven has a very anti social passive aggressive attitude towards well everyone. Even Musa who did nothing but moon over this guy wasn't exempt from his rudeness. But in the end when he was unspelled Riven came crawling back to Musa the only woman he could ever care about.

You can decide if he needs to visit the local shrink or not.

Ah Musa, where do I begin with this girl? I could write a twenty-five page single spaced paper on what's wrong in that pig tailed head of hers- starting with the pig tails. But I don't have that kind of time on my hands. So I'll just do the basics.

Basic number one, her alleged boyfriend Riven. There's a good one right there. The first time they met she is rumored to have drooled over him all day. Even when he was rude and inconsiderate she still wanted to be with him. Now I know undying devotion is all nice and sweet for a couple, but give me a break. Being a doormat is not a desired personality trait.

Yes a doormat. Riven is all nasty and cruel the entire first season, but then he claims he was spelled and comes to his senses and says he _likes_ her! And she believes him….

And what about Tecna? Sure she's smart and everything when it comes to computers, but she falls pitifully short of basic every day knowledge. The girl tried to use a broom as a feather duster when asked to clean and wore a bucket on her head. IF that isn't a sure sign of mental instability I don't know what is.

She's also an android. Devoid of all emotions but logic, which isn't really an emotion. And what pray tell would happen if she malfunctioned? I shudder at that thought.

Her boyfriend, if you can really call him that, Timmy isn't much better. His parents and the rest of his family are all scientists. So I bet you anything he's some kind of science experiment instead of a real guy. You know what? I think that makes him and Tecna perfect for eachother.

And you know what? This problem doesn't just stop at the fairies and specialists. No, their enemies are prey to this as well.

Darcy for example. The girl needs therapy because she suffers from an inferiority complex. Don't believe me? Let's check out the facts. She manipulated a guy into liking her.

Yes people, this young woman is so devoid of confidence she stoops to taking away another's free will just to be loved. Okay, so she decided to break the spell and hurt his feelings, then allowed her sisters to lock him up. But I think she should be pitied for that too.

Speaking of Darcy's sisters and complexes, let's look at Icy. If the 'smart' one suffers from inferiority, the icy one suffers from a superiority complex. She has too much confidence in herself. That lead to her downfall, which is a good thing because I don't even want to begin contemplating how everything would look if Icy had defeated Bloom.

Last on my list is Stormy. Yes Stormy. The most in need of anger management of them all. Well, if I had hair like that I'd be pissed too. Of course, I'd also try a few hair spells to combat the problem.

Perhaps Stormy is just an unmotivated under achiever who suffers from middle child syndrome.

Yes, I know you're thinking I forgot someone, but let me assure you, I didn't! What? Why are you staring at me like that? I'm not one of them anymore! I quit and moved back home! Now if you excuse me I have to go beat the shadows on my wall.

_**Fin**_

**So, do you want to flame me for insulting the Winx and Co. Do you even know who I forgot? Are you still confused? So am I, but I guess you have a reason. Read and review!**


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